I asked my wife, Jenn, to write a blog post for me this week. I think it’s valuable for people to hear a female perspective, and especially when it comes from Jenn. She chose to write on honesty, and I’m glad she did. Not only is she great at being honest, but she’s gracious and quick to forgive when I’m honest with her about my struggles. Enough from me. Here’s Jenn…
Isn’t that what we all want in relationships?
Can friendships that contain no honesty actually be friendships?
Wouldn’t dating relationships that have no honesty be considered surface only entertainment?
And how about marriages that lack honesty? Dishonest marriages fall apart at worst or struggle along at best.
Honesty begs us to reveal our true selves – failures and all. Honesty reveals that you are willing to fight for your relationship rather than drown in surface-only conversation. Honesty rarely comes easily and will often involve emotions you didn’t know you had. But honesty will open the door to give and receive forgiveness. It will make space for trust to be established and restored. It will bring healing that can’t come any other way.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of an honest conversation, specifically with my husband…
I’ve heard confessions of sins that I didn’t want to hear. I confessed feelings and thoughts that I hoped would never be there. But these conversations have led to giving and receiving undeserved grace and forgiveness. They’ve led to a deeper level of trust and respect. And it’s even led to greater intimacy within our marriage because we chose to open ourselves up to one another, understanding that feelings might be hurt, but hurt feelings can heal when you trust in the Lord, rather than in your spouse. (tweet this)
Honesty within marriage means having hard conversations. It might include revealing a hidden past that you never shared with your spouse or a current sin or temptation that you are struggling with. It won’t be easy, but it’s necessary for the health of your marriage and also your relationship with the Lord. In fact, God already knows everything your spouse doesn’t know. And He wants to forgive and restore you!
I think so often we forget that we are friends with/dating/married to a SINNER! Good thing Jesus is perfect because every other relationship will let us down in some way or another, but He never will! Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of a hard conversation, try your best to remember that you are speaking to another sinner, just like yourself, who needs grace and forgiveness, just like yourself! This doesn’t mean there won’t be tears or hurt feelings, but this does mean that you’re willing to see them as Jesus sees them and forgive them just as Jesus has forgiven you! This also doesn’t mean that everything will be fixed with one conversation, but it does mean you’ve opened the door and have done you’re part to embrace honesty.
So take some personal inventory. What’s your first/next step in being completely open and honest? Honesty leads to freedom. It will be worth it.
Make sure to swing by Jenn’s Facebook page and thank her for this blog!