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    Practical Tips on Dating Your Spouse

    Dating, in its most basic form is a pursuit. If you breathed a sigh of relief when you get married because you thought your dating days were in the past, think again! Marriage isn’t the end of dating – it’s just the beginning. Marriage is the lifelong pursuit of the person you are committed to!

    Recently, during our #LoveJoySex series at Awaken, we covered this topic in a message called “Never Stop Dating.” In the text, Shulamite had prepared a romantic weekend getaway for she and her husband in the country. I sent out some emails in the week leading up to the teaching, where I asked a few couples that we know (pastors, friends, etc.) how they pursue their spouses. We got a lot of great, practical feedback that I wanted to share.

    Here it is in bullet points. You can watch the video below.


    – keeps you connected so you don’t become complacent

    – creates simple opportunities to converse and reconnect without interruption

    – it’s an investment for the future that we’ve personally seen save marriages!




    – Song of Solomon 7-style weekend getaways are great, but they’re not always feasible

    – budget for dating – it prioritizes and enables romance

    – aim to get out of the house a couple times per month and go away overnight a couple time per year

    – anywhere/anything can be a date: coffee, shopping, running, gym, scenic drive, etc.


    – can’t find a babysitter? Date nights can be at home

    – take advantage of time you have – even if it’s after the kids are in bed

    –  schedule 2 families to babysit once a month at both pay periods

    –  swap babysitting with another family – watch their kids one week, they watch yours next week

    –  find a couple in church to rotate through babysitting

    – Don’t feel guilty about leaving your kids to go on a date!

    – Pastor Chris Norman: “The best thing you can give your kids is a healthy marriage. Ditch them in the name of loving them!”



    – talk about each other, not just the kids

    – think daily: “What can I do for my spouse today?”

    – dating is like a snowball at the top of a hill – picks up speed

    – how did you date before marriage? Why not do some of the same things once you’re married?

    – cereal dates: puts kids to bed, pour some cereal & chat

    – “Stop and give me 60” – 60 seconds to reconnect as you pursue each other in midst of chaos

    – get the right mindset: pray for your spouse, thank them for what they do, encourage, serve, lead…

    – learn their love language – study your spouse

    – give FULL attention to them (NO TECHNOLOGY: you’re not dating Instagram!)

    – dates don’t have to be at night – change it up and grab breakfast

    – be willing to do things you’re not as interested in: monster trucks vs. musicals

    – anything without kids can be a date – have fun! (if you don’t have kids, everything is a date!

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